Resources for Parents
Encourage your child to reflect & set their own goals
School-aged children are building greater self-awareness as they gain an understanding of who they are as learners. This ability, known as metacognition, is an important Executive Functioning skill for lifelong success.
Parents can encourage self-awareness by helping their students consider what they’d like to accomplish for any given time period. Goal-setting does not need to be only for January 1st or the start of a new school year!
Here are 6 steps to effective goal-setting with your high school student:
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1) Take Ownership
Offer to brainstorm with your high schooler some of the challenges they face. Remember, to see results, your child’s goal needs to emerge from them truly wanting to improve something about their life. (In other words, just because you may want them to finish their homework by 8:00pm doesn’t necessarily mean they want that as their goal.)
2) Keep It Simple
Focus on one goal area at a time. Even though we may have several things we want to improve, if we get overwhelmed by trying to accomplish too much, we will be right back where we started. So what is it that your child believes they could benefit from most?
Being more organized?
Managing your time better?
Staying focused in class?
Planning ahead?
Managing frustration?
3) Make It SMART
When we think of SMART goals, we think of goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound. SMART goals provide the roadmap to how you’ll work toward your objectives. SMART goals can often start with a fuzzier big-picture goal. Below, you’ll see some examples of how to turn “fuzzy” goals into something sharp that invites real action.
BIG PICTURE GOAL: I want to be more organized.
While an admirable goal, do you notice there’s no “how” here? There’s no way to judge whether you’re working toward the goal when you keep at this vague level.
SMART GOAL: I will stay organized by filing important papers into different colored folders for each subject and recycling unneeded papers at the end of each school day, leaving no loose papers in my locker or backpack.
BIG PICTURE GOAL: I want to manage my time better and get my school work done.
SMART GOAL: In order to better manage my time, I will start homework as soon as I arrive home at 4pm and avoid my phone and TV until 6pm or until all homework is complete.
BIG PICTURE GOAL: I want to stay focused in class and ignore distractions.
SMART GOAL: During class times, I will ignore distractions by keeping my cell phone in my backpack, sitting in the front of the room, and taking detailed notes in a notebook designated for each class.
BIG PICTURE GOAL: I want to stop procrastinating.
SMART GOAL: As homework, the day a project or assignment is given, I will break the project into steps and create personal deadlines leading up to the due date in order to plan ahead and avoid procrastination.
4) Track Progress
SMART goals are measurable, so each week encourage your student reflect on their progress. Ask your high schooler:
Have you stuck to your goal? If not, what is holding you back?
Is it a realistic goal for you or is there something you need to change to make it more attainable?
What specifically will you do next week to make sure you come closer to success?
5) Celebrate Wins
Each week as you and your child reflect on progress, be proud of the small things they are accomplishing. They may not have all the pieces in place yet, but take the time to recognize those attempts forward.
6) Continue to Own It
This is not just a goal; this is your child’s new self! They have accomplished what they thought they couldn’t! Encourage your child to keep it up, create new goals, and continue to improve their life.
When the morning rush is too stressful
A student’s tendency to use the snooze button isn’t the main issue; there’s a lack of planning on their part that makes the morning routine more frantic than it needs to be.
If it’s wardrobe indecision that’s driving the morning crush, we might even suggest enlisting the help of Snapchat for this (bear with us, here).
Each night, the student could pick out three potential outfits and Snap them to friends. Whichever gets the votes goes right to the on-deck area for the morning.
Students can also set up daily alerts for 8:30pm the night before that walk them through a check-list of items they need to pack up: lunch, homework folder, planner, textbooks, and gym clothes. This way, they can get to school with homework in hand and a lot less stress.
When classes feel too boring
Although it’s tough to maintain your attention when a subject that you find uninteresting is presented in a dull manner, learning to do so is part of developing Executive Functioning skills.
Students can’t change a teacher’s voice or teaching style or the subject, but they can change what they do when they listen to it.
That might start with posture. Sitting upright rather than slouched over can help students get more oxygen into their lungs to feel more alert.
So might the way they take notes — by finding a method that works for them (jotting down key words, diagramming concepts, connecting chemistry to other aspects of her life).
Other students have success by challenging themselves to participate in class a given number of times or by popping a strong tasting mint to boost alertness.
When procrastination is a problem
Students’ tendency to put off their homework until the last possible minute is understandable.
The amount of energy and attention students need to focus on classes all day leaves them with little gas in the tank to begin a homework session. Add in distractions from friends texting and a younger brother watching cartoons in the next room and students’ task initiation skills are put to the ultimate test.
A student could start by setting up a to-do list for the evening. They might try the Forest app on their phone to “plant” a tree on their phone so that while they work, it grows. If they touch their phone, the tree dies.
If the distractions come through on the computer, installing Freedom might do the trick as this widget can block the user’s access to tempting websites for a set amount of time.
And, of course, they need to be mindful to relocate away from sources of distraction like siblings watching TV or over-excited pets who want attention.
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My ADHD girlies, treat yourselves this holiday season! This curated collection of gifts is designed to spark joy, boost focus, and unleash YOUR inner awesome.
Let me know your thoughts and any cool product ideas that have worked for you. *Dr. Prescribed :)